Your Voice and Your Sex

Typically my best sexual experiences have been the loudest...(oops.)

YOUR VOICE AND YOUR SEX

Typically the best sexual experiences of my life have also been the loudest. (Ooops.) With one lover, we were so loud we came to joking that we needed to hire a room somewhere in the wilds so we could truly be free and let rip on the vocal front.

Sadly, this never came to pass.

But voice is almost universally understood as a way of amplifying or expressing sexual pleasure. I have worked with clients who, after 40 years of marriage and in their 60s, were plainly delighted to boast of having to stuff the pillow in their mouth when they made love in the guest room at a friends house.

So your voice and your orgasm are intimately connected.

YOUR VOICE AND YOUR SEX and your brain

Research has shown that moaning and groaning increase pleasure and arousal. We know this from experience, but how does it happen?

Well, the sounds we make during sex can take us out of control, and place us in more surrendered and limbic. And the limbic centre is the part of the brain responsible for emotions and pleasure and satisfaction. It's the feeling part basically. Lucky for us then that sounds will open this part of our brains up more.

You can play with sounds during sex to see how this works for you. It is also a highly personal thing so do try on a few different vocalisations to find a natural fit. It doesn't work if it feels forced.

I'll never forget a friend who once slept with my ex, who came to me and talked over coffee one day how she could not stand his little masculine grunty noises when he made love. Perhaps you think it's shocking we would have such a conversation? Honestly, I was more shocked by her admission. I LOVED those little masculine grunty sounds.

VOICING CONSENT - COMMUNICATION IN SEX

On another level, it is exactly our voice which allows us to communicate with a sexual partner in the first place. So whilst this may not be quite so primal, discussing and communicating boundaries and desires, the good ol' fashioned "yes, no and maybes" is intrinsic to a good sexual experience.

Make sure you know how to vocalise your needs. And if you struggle with this, you can always let your partner know before hand and come up with a way to communicate that you know you would be capable of. (The origins of safe words right there.)

YOUR VOCAL CHORDS AND YOUR PUSSY

For women there is a rather special connection between the voice and the genitals actually.

I explore this in my jade egg course a lot more deeply, and it is the reason why sound is a bedrock of tantric practice too as far as I am concerned. (Refer to this article on the three tantric practices HERE.)

The vocal chords even look very similar to a vagina as you can see from this illustration below.

Any practitioner who works with loosening and freeing up the pelvis will also tell you this - to work with opening up sound and the voice will automatically loosen the vagina. 

Image courtesy of Singersfit. 

VOICE AND NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION.

On account of that vagus nerve connection, sounds can also help the nervous system switch into a parasympathetic or receptive state too. 

You can try humming or the "vooooahhhh" sound which travels down through the body to really feel this and get a sense of it's power. So if you are carrying any sexual trauma, or feel stressed in the bedroom, getting some of those wild and primal sounds to start opening up  your voice and flowing can be very empowering and settling for you. Opening the door for your arousal to pipe up.

If you want to go even more deeply into this voice and sex connection, I recommend this video HERE too. Or join my Jade Power course where we get to experience this pussy/throat connection in real time together!