THANKS TO FEMINISM

Because of feminism, women have more of what we want than ever before.

Or - perhaps more accurately I could say in the Western hemisphere - we at the very least have more capacity to direct our efforts towards accessing more of what we want than ever before.

I come across women all the time who have made massive strides in their life. 

As a feminist, of course, I think this is a good thing.

feminism as power

It might surprise you to hear then, that there are a whole glut of feminine power coaches out there who dispute the need for feminism. Like, really. Their premise is that what feminism teaches us is limiting to our power because:

 - It teaches us we are easily violated and in constant danger of this;

 - It teaches us that the world needs to be fought against;

 - It teaches us that the very best we might hope for is to elbow ourselves a little more room in a male dominated arena.

In other words - it teaches us we are already victimised, just by the very fact that we are born female.

I understand why coaches would push back against this conditioning, and indeed I have a whole module dedicated to undoing what I call the "victim spell" in my 3 month sex magic mastermind INITIATE. (As a quick aside and in summary - I do not teach women that they should never acknowledge or try to heal if they have been victimised. I believe that women are violated and that this needs safety and tenderness to recover from. But I also call women to power - which means to stop inhabiting the status of victimhood OUT OF COMFORT. Or because it is acceptable to live there as a woman.)

BACK TO FEMININE POWER

So let's get back to the topic of this blog then - and ask what did feminism do for us? (Before we move beyond it.)

Honestly - there are way more books than I could list here if you aren't aware already of some of the disadvantages that can come with being born a woman. Stories, incidents, facts of life present themselves everywhere for us all the time:

Like the time I stayed in Appenzell in Switzerland and learned that in this canton women only owned the full right to vote in the 1990s. Or the time I read how many female babies are still smothered at birth and how this is socially acceptable (and encouraged) by the women in a particular Indian village. in 2023.

Or...

I could go on. You know exactly what I am talking about.

My point is that in the face of these realities, feminism has brought us freedom - to vote, to own property, to not be forced to have sex, to maternity leave and not to expect harassment and discrimination in the workplace.

We have come a very long way.

And I for one will never stop bowing in gratitude to the risks women took before me, to enable me to have the kind of life I am living right now. So I am not here to argue about strides we still need to make in the pursuit of equality and feminine freedoms. We do not live in a perfect world. But my point is that someone else can do that, frankly. It's not my ride or my passion. (Thank you, oh feminists before me who made it possible for me to dream other dreams.)

everyday feminism

And from the look of the women that enter my world and coaching spaces, it would seem that there are lots of us who are also beginning to dream differently, too.

Are we bored, in the end, of pushing the feminist line?

Which brings me to the number one question...

Why isn't my feminine power making me happy?

Women have more than ever before.

They have choice...

Unless you live in the third world or certain states of the US, you have choice over what enters (and leaves) your body. I think we might all agree that this is a very good thing.

I acknowledge that unborn babies do die during abortions. And I think that is a terrible thing. And I also think there are circumstances in which giving birth to that unborn child might be even more terrible. Hence I stand for a woman's right to choose.

I acknowledge that medical treatments can save lives. And I think it is abhorrent to mandate any treatment, especially if it involves risk of injury or death to the person who is making the choice. (Basic medical ethics.) Hence I stand for humankind's right to choose. Even in the face of terrible things, still I will stand for their right to choose. Always.

I acknowledge that I can choose to stay or to leave my husband. That I can choose to be sexual with him or not to be sexual with him. That I can wear what I like in public. Go where I determine. 

How can anyone be truly free without the above?

They have control...

Women have the capacity to say no. To take charge of their finances. To invest in property. To save up for things they want. To make purchases.

They have the capacity to train and to direct their lives and to take paths that interest them and they feel called to. 

They are able to steer great ships - including businesses, families, social ventures. All the things.

They have impact

Women are having more impact than ever before and this is a completely joyful thing for them.

They are being felt. Acknowledged. Received. Respected.

They are making waves, and people are listening to them.

why your feminism isn't making you happy

I believe in the true brilliance of women. I see women in my coaching practice everyday who are genius at what they do. They're like the ultimate warrior women. They're the kind of women that, if the ship was going down, you would want in your dinghy, you know?

Intelligent, competent, assertive, driven, finance savvy, dedicated mothers, vigilant.

There is not one area of their life that isn't dialled.

And yet? And yet?

There is something every single one of them longs for.....

the feminine desire to lose control

It's like the biggest feminist faux pas there is.

To want to completely lose control of your shit.

To want to be taken by life.

Fucked into oblivion on the sandy shores of a life you once held together like a nice person.

And yet that is the women who end up wanting to work with me.

We can both smell it. I smell it on them. They can definitely smell it on me.

It's like the moment I walk into a church and the old ladies who make the tea gather round and huddle. (Maybe it's my inappropriate earrings? My massive sheepskin coat that makes me look even larger?The glint in my eye which plainly gives away the fact that I don't always care for what's polite, as much as I care about what's true.)

Luckily for me, my clients don't mind the smell AT ALL.

In fact, they come to me bereft for the right kind of attention. For a person like me who can dig for the deeper currents of their life. 

When I say yes. Look at all you have. You have the life you wanted. You are busy bringing it all to fruition.

And yet where are you losing control?

It moves something in them.

To have another women acknowledge the sheer depth of their thirst.

It brings them a relief.

post-feminism

Of course, that is where we begin.

Dipping our toes into the feminine field.

Flirting with it to see how slowly and deliciously we might come undone in it's frequency.

Wondering where it might lead us? Whether it will get us into trouble? 

Or whether it will lead to the gates of even deeper freedom.

I think you know what I am going to say next...

even deeper currents of feminism

I believe we are entering a time where the feminine principle of life is resurrecting.

You could look at the sheer enormity of the social challenges we face, and the chaos that is ensuing. And call it Kali.

You could look at the rise of interest in Eros  - including the erotic practices that I love to teach. And call it Shakti.

But also more - together we are resurrecting a reverence for:

 - feelings

 - movement

 - joy 

 - pleasure

 - receptivity

 - ease 

 - connection

 - community

 - flow

 - reciprocity...

Because we seem to be realising, en masse, that our structures and systems and exchanges and borders etc etc, are really only in place to serve the deeper thing.

Which is life itself.

And that is we "feminism" our way into a job we hate, or drive ourselves deeper into the fight, then life itself begins to suffer.

Our bodies are no different to the natural world.

Our cultures, our desires, our flames.

We are hungry for a new way.

beyond feminism

And so whilst those social justice women can keep on fighting on my behalf (hey, thanks.)

Also...

I work in a deeper devotion to a principle that is being birthed into the world rapidly.

I practice and teach the lost feminine arts.

And I do hope you'll join me.

(It's fun. And quite hot. By the way. In case you hadn't noticed.)